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Self-heal

Self-heal (Photo credit: book48)

Often times, we feel that we  are alone and  depressed even if we  know that physically  we are surrounded by so many people around us.  Sometimes we ask ourselves these questions:  What is wrong    with people? Why can’t they understand me?  Why is it that it’s always me that they see?  Why can’t I do anything right?  Why am I angry all the time? Why do I feel trap like  a genie in a bottle?  If you feel these then it’s time to embark in the long journey of “Inner healing.”

According to  an article from Walking-Wounded.Net, “this inner pain people feel might have developed due to negative life experiences.    These experiences vary.  It might have been formed from  a certain kind of abuse ( physically, emotionally or sexually), trauma and other   damage causing incidents.”   Personally, people often call themselves victims. This is  inherent to us humans.  We often blame others for our misfortunes.  Wallow in self-pity.  Drown ourselves with negative thoughts.   In order for  us to heal completely, we have to change our perception   and the feeling of being victims.  Instead we   should  give ourselves  the power,  hence, calling ourselves SURVIVORS.  And as survivors we can rebuild and transform our lives.

So what do you  have to do to achieve “Inner healing?”  This article is not the ultimate guide to “inner healing.”  This will serve as a way to discover how to go through this long journey.    There is no instant remedy to self-healing.  Even if  you  pay people to help you .  They will only help you  search the why’s  and how’s but even if the how’s are recommended, it will be useless if    there is no  self-acceptance.

Acknowledging that something needs to change  is first.   Denying how you  feel  and  covering it up worsens it.   In  some cases,  emotions are even coupled with psychological  and physiological aspects.  One  becomes  explosive and  violent.    Acting without thinking of the consequences  result to acting irrationally  and focusing your negative energy towards other  people or things or worse yourself.   It’s like acting  for punishment which  obviously is not good.

Another  is  knowing how you  value your judgement is important.  In order for  you to accept yourself,  you have to feel  confident enough to  uphold what you believe in.   Ask yourself,   “Is this the value I  uphold? Am I comfortable with   what the other person is saying or wants me to do?”    If both  answers to the questions is “no,” then  you  should speak up and  tell the person why you are uncomfortable.  You have to stick to your principle and at the same time be  ready  for  reasonable compromise as well.   The point is, at least you are able to  express  your views now and  has shown confidence.

Then, you   would need some support system  from outside.    You don’t need people who would bring  you  down.  You  have  to avoid them.  Support comes from  people you   already know.  Maybe   you  can share  your thoughts and feelings to   someone you  completely trust and tell that someone  your  goals too.   That someone  could be a  family member  or friend or even a professional.  You need  people to keep you focused. Remember, journey to inner healing is  a long one.  So  you would need a friend to  keep you company.

After you have acknowledged  your needs.  It is time to check on how you  deal with various incidents that affect you.  How  do you react to certain events in your life now compared to how you reacted before? Have you let go or are you  still burning inside?   Self-reflection is one way  to use to keep yourself  in check.    If you are still burning inside like you  just want to go out and punch someone’s face, then things still need constant checking.  Things  do  not happen overnight.   Don’t worry.

Lastly,  find something  you  enjoy doing.  Discover a hobby or reconnect with friends.  Go for nature walks or even enroll in meditative classes.     As long as  you have embarked on the first step to inner healing,  the next steps would be easy.     Remember,  inner healing  needs  more time.  What is essential  is that you already know that  you need to change.  You need to stop hurting.   You have accepted.  You are on your road to healing  and  it is for the best!

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