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Happiness

Happiness (Photo credit: ernohannink)

 

 

All my life I have been compared with someone prettier, skinnier, fairer, smarter and all the “ers” one could think of. I  was happy with the way I am and what I had. Those people really made  me feel lesser than how I really felt. (frowns)

 

 So since then,  I have worked on  those things to be more than what I am.  As I worked, I felt that  my confidence was growing.  I felt so sure of myself, thus,  feeling sexy. Don’t get me wrong.  Being sexy is not just for vanity.  It is  for self-esteem.   Every one needs to be affirmed that you look good.  It makes us feel good too.

 

Unfortunately, we get carried away with  what people tell us because we want to be accepted.  Well that is human nature, right? (frowns) I have so much to offer.  Maybe that is why I tried my best to be someone. I tried to be the best I can be.  I studied well  and furthered my profession.  But  something was lacking.  I am  swimming with other people towards  what should be and not what I want to be.

 

I realized  meeting other people’s expectations   soon burns us out.   Diet here, smile there, exercise here  and  dine there.   Why do I have to question what I know and feel about myself?  Why do I need to  meet the demands of the people around me and the society?  Working hard both  professional and psychological reasons  eventually got too tiresome.   My whole being was suffering and in turmoil  but I had to  show the world how composed I was.  I had duties  to do and tasks to fulfill.  People were counting on me. I was  not happy anymore.

 

I told myself  I   have to find myself  soon or else I’ll  fall apart and lose myself.

 

I found someone who can look past those things and see me for who I really am and what I can give.  Actually, he found me.  ( smiles) He  came at the right time when my light was burning out and was ready to get extinguished.  This person found me  in my darkest moment and helped me  pick up  the pieces.  I didn’t realize how broken I  already was.  I was just too busy  with everything else that I didn’t notice  I needed mending.

 

I found myself  happy again with what I have, little as  it may  seem.  Life became simpler but happiness was  of different kind.  I am not  expected to be what people want me to be and most of all I brought my sexy back. (big smile) Woo hoooo!!

 

I realized that being sexy  and appealing does not come from the clothes one wears. It does not come from  how nice your  hair and  nail looks.   Yes, I know, everyone says that.  But do we  feel it? Of course not.  It is only when you find someone who  would tell  you all those things do not matter that you realize and validate what you have felt all along is true.  That  we should not be affected by what others believe and  say.  And as for nice clothes,  hair and nails and yes… scents, we all know that they  really add up to our feeling good about ourselves. ( wink)

 

 In our superficial world today, with the shallow definition of  “sexy,”  we should not let other people affect  what makes us happy. Unfortunately, haters are so  contagious.  Don’t you  just hate it when  you get carried away  by them too?!  (rolls eyes)  What they say rubs on you  and stings.  Little do they realize they  need “major repair” themselves. ( sheepishly smiles) Well,  we need to  fight our urge to get carried away by them.  We still need to   “sharpen” that skill of deflecting what they  say and let it not  affect us.  

 

In the final analysis, we have to realize we are not something  to be checked out like some commodity to be bought from a store shelf… we are beautiful people who have so much to give.  We are sexy in our own right.  We deserve to be happy! We have to get our sexy back !